Teddy Jack | Birth Story Pt 1.

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Being a high risk pregnancy meant I was always prepared to be spending a lot of time in hospital and towards the end of the pregnancy I felt as though I was spending more time there than I was at home, we even had a trip to the maternity triage unit 20 hours before Teddy made his grand entrance to the world. I woke up on the morning of Saturday 13th April and I just didn’t feel right, not in pain or anything I just felt as though I needed Teds movements checking as through the night they were always really strong and frequent but throughout that night I didn’t have much, and looking back now I think it was just the fact that Teddy had moved himself in to his starting position so to speak. We were monitored, showing no sign of labour as yet and everything was of course fine and we were sent home, and I went to bed that night as normal.

How much anxiety do we carry throughout pregnancy when you already have one child to consider in your plans? One thing that made me super anxious was thinking about when I’d go in to labour, because I have Lily to think about now I was thinking things like were my waters going to break on the school run? what if I couldn’t get hold of Ash or my mom? but it was deja vu and I ended up waking up early hours on Sunday morning with pains and leaking my waters, exactly the same as had happened with Lily however I remember these pains being much more intense and as I stood rocking from side to side watching Ash get ready I muttered the words “ouccch, shit!” through a contraction only for Lily to say “thats a naughty word mom, people need not say that”. My contractions were every 3 minutes give or take, they were actually around the 3 minute mark from when I woke up and they didn’t seem to get any quicker up until just before Teddy was born but because I’d been told all pregnancy that the chances of me having a quicker labour than I had with Lily were really high I panicked and thought I’d be giving birth in a layby at the side of the road if we didn’t get a move on. So we arrived at the hospital and I had to do a urine sample straight away as you do, and that confirmed that I had meconium present and for some reason I’ve always associated babies pooing in their mom with the baby being in distress but that wasn’t the case, however you don’t think so rationally in labour, do you? and it was all downhill from there.

The midwife had confirmed I was in labour but we got put in a room on triage with four beds in…. my first thought was THIS IS NOT IDEAL!!! What if they bring someone else in? I was having strong contractions and by this point I had already done the classic thing of snapping at Ash for something as little as putting his phone down next to me on the bed, as you do when you’re in labour 😀 we weren’t on triage for very long because I’d decided I needed more help pain relief wise – this is a decision I did not take lightly, after managing with only (minimal) gas and air throughout Lily’s birth I wanted to try and do the same this time round but the contractions just seemed so much worse than I remembered from before baring in mind the fact Teddy did weigh almost 2lb heavier than Lily did, I decided to give Pethidine a try as an Epidural was a big no no for me. The Pethidine did help in the way that I was pretty much falling asleep in between each contraction and I gave up with gas and air as I felt I was handling the pain better when focusing on my breathing myself.

 

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No matter how many times people tell you that no two births are the same you just cannot help but compare, especially at the time! and the fact I had Lily in my arms after three pushes was playing on my mind massively. Looking back at my notes it’s documented that I was actually only actively pushing for 20 minutes however that seemed like two hours (my labour was only three hours long). Because of how intense the contractions seemed to be this time round and the fact I’d given up with the gas and air I was pushing down on the bed with my hands meaning most of my strength was being wasted on that rather than pushing and honestly…. I knew about it for a few days after Teddy was born because I felt as though I’d been training arms at the gym for two weeks straight!! Throughout Lil’s birth I remained fairly dignified but that didn’t half change with Teddy, my dignity completely went out of the window, I found that out as soon as the Pethidine started wearing off and I actually realised I had my legs in stirrups whilst two midwives were talking about, assessing and stitching my second degree tear.

The midwife I’d had looking after me since we arrived at hospital came in at around 7:30am to tell us she couldn’t deliver Teddy now as she’d gone off shift but she wanted to stay to see his little face, however she had no choice in delivering him in the end because just like Lil, he flew out, like literally so unexpected the two midwives actually had their backs turned on their ipads discussing my notes and Ted was just laying there like heyyyy guys. When Ted was placed on to me I remember my first thought being just how much he looked like Lil, and then how much she was going to love him. I had some strict rules about Ash taking photos this time round, as he missed Lily being born I didn’t have any photos of me in labour so this time I wanted him to take as many as possible, he does listen to me after all because later on that day he sent me about 40 photos some of which had my vajayjay and various different bodily fluids visible…. and that’s all I’ll say on that. Another rule I had about photos was that Ash wasn’t to send anyone any photos until Lily had seen Teddy first, that is just what felt right to me, afterall she was going to have to share me now so I felt like I owed her that at least. Lil was also first to meet Teddy, when my mom bought her to the hospital she waited outside whilst Ash bought Lily in so we could have that first moment as a family together and I’m so so thankful she pointed this out to me whilst I was pregnant because I never would have thought and looking back now it was super precious.

So that is that, at 7:49am on Sunday 14th April 2019 our little handsome Teddy Jack was born weighing a dinky 6lb 2oz. We loved him instantly and just knew he was going to fit perfectly in to our family – we are blessed beyond words (I’m writing this as a reminder for when the terrible two’s hit!).

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We love you so much Teds.

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Our Top 5 Newborn Must Haves.

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Now our family has gotten bigger we’ve drastically found that space has reduced therefore we’ve had to be practical with getting the bits and bobs that babies need, that and it being down to experience we’ve figured out babies don’t require half of the stuff that you accumulate as first time parents. It’s crazy just how much changes with each child you have, in just the short four years between Lily and Ted so much has changed and I found so many different products out there to try, some worth it and some not so here are our favourites…

Tommee Tippee Perfect Prep Machine.

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We had one of these with Lily and it was an absolute must have this time round because well, I just don’t know how parents cope without it if I’m honest, it’s an absolute god send especially in the middle of the nights saving you from faffing around having to juggle a hungry baby as well as trying to get the bottle to the correct temperature. Tommee Tippee have bought out a newer version since Lily was born called the Night and Day, which I’m guessing means it has different settings for the night time. The standard version we had (have) beeps but it’s nothing and disturbs anyone sleeping in our household so we decided not to pay the extra for the latest model and we managed to pick ours up for £60 on ASDAs baby event. A prep machine basically makes bottles freshly and to the correct temperature within the push of a button, all you have to do is scoop the formula in and as I said above it is a life saver throughout the night or when the baby wakes from a nap in the day time and are super hungry! They come in a range of different colours now such as blue, black, red and white and I couldn’t recommend them enough for how easy they make things even more so when you have multiple children.

Milton Mini Soother Steriliser.

I’m not sure whether these were around when Lily was a baby or not, but I saw someone using one whilst I was pregnant with Teddy and they just seemed like such a good, handy idea so I thought I’d give it a try, especially as we used Milton whilst in hospital with Lily and I really liked how clean the bottles smelt after they’d been sterilised. They come in a range of colours and I’ve seen them online in green, pink, blue and we have the grey one, I purchased Ted’s from Amazon for £7.99 but they’re currently on offer in Boots baby event for £5.59. They’re super handy for when you’re on the go because if your baby is anything like Ted then a dummy wont stay in their mouth for very long, and when it’s dropped Lil will grab it often holding it by the teat so it’s great to just pop it in and within 15 minutes it’s sterilised again. You have to purchase the Milton mini sterilising tablets to go in to it but they’re really reasonably priced at £2.39 (at Boots) for a pack of 50. Their handy little strap means that they can be hooked on to pushchairs or changing bags etc.

Ollie The Owl Sound And Grow Light Friend.

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This has been an absolute god send, I cannot begin to explain just how much of my sanity this little thing has saved. I’d researched so many different night lights and music / white noise players but I’m so glad we went with Ollie The Owl because Teddy took to it from the first time we used it. We had it at £34.99 from Boots but it’s part of the Gro Company range which I believe can be purchased elsewhere, it plays white noise, a lullaby, a heartbeat sound and a rain fall sound – Lily likes putting the lullaby on for Ted but the heartbeat sound has soothed him no end, we even took it along to his newborn photoshoot and gosh I am glad we did because let me tell you… it was NEEDED. What I also love about Ollie The Owl is that it has a cry sensor meaning it activates itself when baby cries – fabulous! Other benefits include 20 minutes playing time for each sound – giving enough time to soothe the baby and allow them to drift off to sleep, three different volumes and levels of light, and a velcro strap allowing it to be strapped to cot (outside only as it is not breathable fabric).

KinderKraft 5-in-1 Unimo Cradle.

This is absolutely amazzzzzing and has helped us save so much space, it’s available from lots of sites online from Precious Little One to Groupon to Amazon, and it seems to be on offer on most at the minute for around half price and it comes in yellow, blue and pink. We learnt with Lily that reducing how many different surfaces the baby to sleep on works wonders as their little selves have less to adjust too (ultimately meaning a more content sleep), so the fact that the Unimo goes from a cot to a cradle to a bouncer to a rocker to a chair all using the same level of comfort for the baby to get used too is brilliant. Ted currently sleeps in his moses basket upstairs of a night time so we keep the Unimo downstairs as it’s easy for day time use, if I need to pop him down to get something done I can use it in the bouncer or rocker setting along with the sensory toy bar, and if it’s nap time and we’re downstairs I can quickly adjust it to the cot or cradle setting, and it’s really easy to do so too – doing this also means that Teddy will eventually learn the difference between night and day judging by whether he’s in his moses basket or his Unimo. If we didn’t have the Unimo then we’d have to have another moses basket, bouncer/rocker and chair all in our lounge and with two children that just isn’t practical which is why this is so fab for us.

MAM Easy Start Anti Colic Self Sterilising Bottles.

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We didn’t use MAM with Lily and we hadn’t planned to with Teddy up until we were gifted a MAM bottle and soother starter pack, I was sold from the minute I took it apart if I’m completely honest. Not only does the top unscrew but so does the bottom which has made cleaning the bottles thoroughly so much easier, the bottom unscrews due to the fact they are self sterilising therefore perfect for on the go as you don’t need to carry multiple bottles around which again is a plus with more than one child. I was actually really concerned with Lily that she was in severe pain from the screeches that would come from her tiny little mouth when she was a baby, so much so I took her to the out of hours doctor one night and it turned out to be colic, we had tried everything from the comfort formula, to propping her mattress up a little, to all of the different drops available and nothing worked for her, I was just going to hope and pray that Teddy wasn’t a colic-y baby too however when I read up on MAM bottles I was sold and couldn’t wait to try them. I feel like the shape of the teat in comparison to other brands is better and would be easier for a baby to take too, also depending on the size of the pack the bottles come with a dummy or two and they are smaller than the 0-6 month MAM ones which have been really beneficial in Teds first few weeks. MAM bottles also fit in the Tommee Tippee perfect prep machine and microwave steriliser.

 

Tommee Tippee Perfect Prep Machine | Milton Portable Soother Steriliser | The Gro Company Ollie The Owl | KinderKraft 5-in-1 Unimo | MAM Easy Start Anti Colic Self Sterilising Bottles

 

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Pregnancy After Prematurity.

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I’m able to talk about pregnancy from more avenue than one, unfortunately, and the one aspect that I am really struggling with this pregnancy is the anxiety that comes with already having had a premature baby. Breaking the silence on all aspects of (in)fertility, TTC, pregnancy and baby loss is brave, bold and brilliant, and an absolute must but one thing I haven’t really seen much of when I’ve researched in order to help my own anxiety is pregnancy/having a baby after already experiencing a premature labour and birth. So before I crack on, if you’re reading this and you have gone on to have another child after a premature birth then please get in touch because I’d love to hear from you.

We were given no reason as to why I went in to premature labour with Lily, which is where my soft spot for Tommy’s comes in because they aren’t just there to provide support to those who have sadly experienced misscarriage and still birth, but also those who have had a premature baby (as well as many other amazing things which you can find out by browsing their website and reading the many different stories from people of all walks of life). They did provide us with support as I questioned myself over and over again as to what I could have done differently during my pregnancy to prevent early labour, I blamed myself.

Luckily Lily was a premmie who didn’t need any special care other than spending 27 hours under a UV lamp and slight issues stabilising her temperature, throughout my very quick labour we had a team of paediatric doctors on stand by ready to take to her NICU but thankfully it wasn’t needed – I count my lucky stars daily for this, however, that doesn’t change how scary and daunting it is, and it certainly doesn’t take away the anxiety of another pregnancy ending the same way. What if I go in to premature labour again? What if we don’t have such a lucky outcome as we had when Lily was born? What if I’m on my own again? What if my anxiety and stressing over it brings on a premature labour? The questions I find that I’m asking myself are endless and probably uncalled for and harsh on myself as after all my body did grow, home and feed Lily for 7 months and as weird as this may sound to some being on my own when giving birth (Ash and my mom both missed it… they did say Lily was spontaneously quick) I had to rely on the midwives more than I probably would have done if my family were with me, I had to switch up my mindset from scared and worried mother birthing a premature baby to powerhouse mother birthing a strong willed, keen to see the world baby…. and it worked for us, but sadly I know it doesn’t for everyone. Lily isn’t the only premature baby in the family, her youngest uncle was born at 24 weeks and he too is a survivor, a tough cookie, but being more knowledgeable and aware and having first hand experience with it has its pros and cons. Obviously I’m more aware of early signs, I know to be more cautious and careful throughout this pregnancy, and I have the opportunity to prepare myself as for whatever may happen as best as I can but on the other hand I always find myself over thinking, asking myself the same questions over and over and working myself up in to a state of panic.

The joys of anxiety – it never really does go away does it? It is that black cloud following you around waiting to open it’s heavens on you, and when it rains it friggin pours. My concerns about birthing another premature baby were spoken about with my midwife on my first appointment with her after she’d told me we’d be classed as a high risk and consultant led pregnancy. She was quick to tell me my chances of a water birth or a birth on the midwifery led unit were out of the question and my initial thought was that which ever way my baby is born it’s going to be very clinical, not relaxing and I’m not going to feel completely in control because of my surroundings. Why I thought this I don’t know – Lily’s birth was no different to what she’d explained was going to happen this time round, it was just too quick for any alternative options to be considered. Anyhow – my midwife mentioned going back on medication for my anxiety, she said there’s no reason why I can’t but taking anti-depressants whilst pregnant is something I’ve heard many horror stories about, old wives tales or not, I don’t think I’m willing to take the risk with us being at risk of so many complications anyway.

It’s an on going aspect of this pregnancy that I’m still coming to terms with, learning about and talking about in order for us to have the best most relaxing and stress free birth as possible and I shall be keeping you all updated on what I learn throughout this experience – it’s no secret that no two births are the same but I have been opened up to a whole new type of anxiety this pregnancy.

Below are some websites you may find helpful for anyone dealing with the same sort of anxiety or for anyone who has had a premature baby.

Tommy’s | Bliss | The Smallest Things

Welcome back, Me.

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Hey…. strangers!

It feels so good to be back tapping away, so so good. I’ve been wanting to come back for a while now but we’ve just had lots going on of which you’ll find out about as I catch up with posts for sure. So firstly, some of you may remember my blog post re: severe constipation with Lil and how we were coping with it… well, not very well is the answer. I wont say too much about it here as I am going to do one big post once we have answers (her operation is tomorrow – eeeeek) but to cut a long story short it’s not constipation and never was, it’s actually something a lot more serious since her vomit also contained clotted blood. We’ve had a stint in hospital and Lil has been having two weekly appointments/meetings at our local hospital and has an operation to find out what’s going on tomorrow, at Birmingham Childrens Hospital. I’m a huge ball of anxiety regarding this however that’s not the only thing we’ve got going on right now – I’m no longer a stay at home mom, woop! I mean, I’ve loved my time at home with Lil and feel so lucky and blessed to have spent her first years earth side completely with her and we could have carried it on but I think by doing so the contented feeling we have within the family would have gone out the window on my part as I’ve so been wanting to get my foot back in the door of Health and Social Care to refresh my own knowledge and skills but also to further my career, it’s happening and I’m uber excited about it. Finally the 3rd and probably the biggest change in our lives right now is that I’m currently growing Lils baby brother or sister. I know I know, we could have timed it better with starting a new job and Lil being in hospital a lot but a blessing is a blessing and I believe we are all dealt certain cards in life for a reason.

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There are some changes in the way that I blog now which I had to consider and think about long and hard before coming back. Whilst I’ll remain with absolutely zero filter I will be a little more reserved with what I post. You’ll still see me and Lily but some photos I wont be sharing as I do just want to keep some things back for the four of us as a family. I’ve decided to take more control over who I let view our lives, but I just couldn’t keep myself away from writing, my brain felt more messy and a lot less organised with all of my ideas and thoughts bouncing around with nowhere to go and be productive.

 

I also documented the first few months of Lils life on a blog too so I sort of want the same for this baby, that and the fact we’re coming up to my favourite time of year with all the festivities and I love sharing what we do, our crafts, our parties, our hacks, money saving tips etc, so that is that… for now! Catch you later guys,

 

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